Stifled...

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Talking To A Fastfood Restaurant Worker...

I was feeling hungry one evening and as I was deciding what to have for dinner, I heard an advertisment on the TV. It's a fastfood restaurant advertising their finger-licking good chicken. A decision for dinner was made immediately.

Coincidentally, there's one of that fastfood chain right opposite my block. I lethargically dragged myself to the fastfood restaurant and queued up. The worker serving me was a female.

"Good evening, sir. May I have your order please?" The girl asked me with a bright smile.

I looked at the menu, still trying to decide between a burger and 2 pieces of chicken. I looked at her and discovered that she actually looks cute. I tried to get her name. Her name was Sherry, as written on the tag hanging above her left breast.

"Erm... Let me think for a while," I replied.

I took a step back and started to take a good, hard look at her. She has long straight hair, and she's actually quite well-endowed. She's wearing a red bra that day, because shades of red can actually be seen below the thin, yellow fabric that her uniform is made of.

She must have caught me staring, because she turned around and avoided letting me have eye contact with her chest. It was only then that I realised that I haven't placed my order yet. I decided to have the 2-piece chicken meal.

I walked up to Sherry and again was greeted by "Good evening, sir. May I have your order please?" This time, the smile was rather forced.

"I'd like to have a 2-piece chicken meal," I placed my order but my eyes can't help wandering to her chest, where the red within seems to be screaming to be let outta the yellow cage.

Instinctively, I uttered, "I want 2 breasts."

Immediately Sherry's face turned red. Yup, as red as her bra. She said okay and quickly turned to get the chicken pieces. It was then that I realised I involuntarily said something kinda lewd. I don't know if it's the sight of her bosoms that gave me the idea or I just wanted to have chicken breasts that day, all I know is that I wasn't aware of myself saying that.

I tried my best to give her the exact change, got the food and left the restaurant.

It only became clear to me that I was in a dire situation in the restaurant. She could have bitch-slapped me right there and then. Thank goodness it didn't happen. I guess I won't be going to the restaurant anytime soon and I highly doubt Sherry's still working in that branch...

This didn't happen, but it SHOULD...

End...

Hanged @ 8:11 PM

Post a Comment

MOS...

Jen and I went to MOS yesterday. She came over at around 7PM while I was still sleeping. Then we got ready and left for MOS. We took a cab there.

Jen was wearing this black top that I wouldn't really call a top. It's just a piece of cloth covering her front. Her back was completely bare and the front was low-cut. Damn hot.

Ready to move out...

We actually wanted to go for this SAFRA event, but by the time we went there, it was over. We still went in anyway. There are 4 rooms there, 1 of which is only for people 25 and above. Neither of us was allowed. There's this room where they played retro music, not my type. Then there's a small room called Smoove where all the young people are inside dancing. It was fucking packed.

The Main Arena was large and it has a second storey too. However, the people there are mostly old geezers. I'm serious. There are fat aunties and even balding uncles in khakis and sandals. WTF? Deciding that the Main Arena isn't really for us, we stayed in Smoove and danced the night away.

We left for my house after we got tired. Took NR5 home. We passed by Boat Quay and MS. These two places that used to be bustling with life now look like ghost towns. It's just a sad left-overs of what used to be popular areas. Guess MOS killed the competition.

End...

Hanged @ 7:57 PM

Post a Comment

Recent Changes In Me...

In light of the recent emotional trauma I faced, I discovered a few changes in me. But first, I must say that the whole issue is probably blown out of proportion by me and me only. Fucking asshole...

Firstly, I'm into sugar-free drinks now. I used to be addicted to those sweet, sweet cola. Now I go for Coke Light or Pepsi Max. Damn, I'm getting more and more health-conscious.

Secondly, I have only a maximum of 2 meals a day. I don't know why. Maybe I'm on a diet, maybe I was just too depressed to eat much, but now I eat a lot less than what I used to.

Thirdly, and the most important change, I'm becoming goddamn fucking narcissistic. God, I love myself so fucking much now. I don't know why. There's no explanation to this at all. I just realised a few days ago that I look damn fucking good. I'd stare at the mirror or look at my photos and tell myself that "I look good" loudly. Wahaha...

Hell, I don't know how long these things will last, but these are indeed the changes in me now.

End...

Hanged @ 7:41 PM

Post a Comment

This Obsolete Machine...

I realised that my computer is actually quite an old chunk of metal already. It used to be a fucking good gaming machine when I first bought it, but due to the lack of upgrading, it can't really play new games.

I find myself either having no games to play or playing old games all the time. This is making me so sick that I actually stopped gaming already. I can't remember the last time I played a computer game. Now all I do with this machine is use it to watch porn, watch downloaded animes and TV series, listen to mp3s and stare at the wallpaper. Damn... I should get a new computer real soon.

End...

Hanged @ 7:37 PM

Post a Comment

Saturday, March 25, 2006

WTF...

I'm going through an emotional rollercoaster ride here. Old feelings rekindled... I don't know what I'm doing... Elated... Depressed... I can't get a grip of myself.

I'm like a goddamn train wreck...

End...

Hanged @ 12:03 PM

Post a Comment

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Talking To An Insurance Agent...

I was on my way back home from work one day when I was stopped at the bus interchange. A gorgeous babe stopped me. I've seen her. This ain't the first time she tried. She is always trying to stop me, probably because I was in uniform and stands out from the crowd (Who the fuck would wear all green and walk around Boon Lay bus interchange except NSFs?). Anyway, I decided to listen to what she had to say today.

Stella, as she introduced herself, is an insurance agent. She's trying to get me to buy some crap insurance and she was introducing it. I didn't pay too much attention to her because I was trying to peer into her low-cut blouse. Anyway, I snapped outta that when the thing above her breasts started asking me questions.

"So how do I address you?"

"Reeve," I told her breasts.

"Nice to meet you, Reeve."

"Nice to meet you too," I answered, kinda irritated by the voice coming outta where I wasn't focusing. If you know how it feels to try to listen to good music and end up hearing repair works carried out by your neighbour above, you'll know my frustrations.

"So Reeve, do you have any insurance?"

Extremely annoyed, I decided to peel my eyes off her bosoms and focus on her face so that I can try to make her shut up fast.

"I have an education insurance."

"How about life insurance?"

Are you a retard or something? Which part of 'education' sounded like 'life'?

"No, I don't. I believe I don't need it yet and I'm not financially independent enough to get one"

"Oh no, you'll need one because you don't know what's going to happen to you and..."

"Wait a sec, are you like, cursing me?" I gave her the suspicious look.

"No, no, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying life's full of uncertainty and..."

"So you admit life's not certain so why are you so certain that I'll need that insurance shit? God told you I'll die next week while sitting in the toilet?"

"No, no, it's just an assumption..." she tried to explain frantically.

"So why can't you assume I won't die early and won't need your insurance, at least not at the time being?"

"Erm..." she was in a loss of words. She's panicking and her breathing was hard and fast. I let my eyes revisit her now heaving bosoms.

"So... Are you still interested in my insurance plans...?" she managed to utter. It perplexes me why she's still trying.

"I said just now that I don't think I need one yet and I can't afford it monetarily."

"We do have great offers if you sign up for our policies and as a soldier, I strongly recommend you to take up at least one life insurance," she managed to regain her composure and continue.

"Look, I'm not gonna pay just for some cheap offers. And I'm in the office most of the time. Unless you can convince that hitting the letters F, U, C, K and U on the keyboard has a 99% chance of getting me killed, then I suggest you save your time and not bother me no more."

"Erm... Okay, thank you for your time. Have a nice day. See you again." She gave up.

"Have a nice day to you too," I said my parting words to her Stella Vanilla.

I walked off, feeling like I've accomplished something today.

This didn't happen, but it SHOULD...

End...

Hanged @ 9:25 PM

Post a Comment

Evolution Of The English Language In The Army...

Recently, I spent some time thinking about the way we speak in the Army. It amuses me, sometimes, when I think about it. Apparently, names of places and people, fictional or not, are being used as verbs, nouns and adjectives.

In my camp, if you do something stupid, you immediately become a universal word. For example, Eng brought home some keys that day and got 3 extras duty. So now, if you do the same, you would have "done an Eng". Or if people remind you not to bring stuffs home, they'll say, "Don't do an Eng". If you utter nonsense all day, like Suffian, people will tell you that "you are very Suffian today". See what I mean?

This trend reminds me of the time when I was in Delta Wing, OCS. In Brunei, many people in the wing lost stuffs. They either misplaced them or people stole them. Everyone saw the trend and chose to believe that their things are stolen, very typical of humans. We didn't see that happening in Foxtrot Wing, who were with us there, so we named the trend "Delta". If you lose things, you got "delta-ed". If you need something someone else has, people will tell you to go "delta" it. "Delta" became a substitute for steal, I guess.

Recently, in my camp, a more powerful word emerged. "Jamal" is the new term for everything. There are even other forms of the word, like "Jamal-ed" and "Jamalized". What does it mean? Nothing, and everything. It can be used as a swear word, for scolding/describing people, as a substitute for someone's name, for anything bad that happens. Use it as a noun, as a verb, as a condom, as an adjective, as a vulgarity, anything. It's like Jamal (whoever he is) has become omnipresent in our lives.

So you see, the language has come a long way in the Army. A step forward or a step back? You decide.

End...

Hanged @ 9:09 PM

Post a Comment

Movies...

I caught 2 films over the weekend. I saw Underworld:Evolution on Friday and Final Destination 3 on Saturday.

Underworld:Evolution's not a bad film, although I lost almost all memories of Underworld. Jen haven't watched the first part and jumped straight into the sequel. It's like frying a chicken wing without first marinating it. I doubt the film turned out good for her. Anyway, Kate Beckinsale in a tight spandex jumpsuit, holding more guns than you can imagine. What is there not to love this film for?

The fighting was not bad, with lots of blood and gore and even a few scenes of ancient knight fighting shit, similar to LOTR and Troy. There was also a sex scene in it. I watched the film with an auntie sitting beside me. From the corner of my eye, I saw her flinch when the scene was on. Haha. Not enough exposure eh?

Final Destination was okay. The idea's old already, since every follower of the franchise will know that the story involves some people saved by an individual's premonition and then Death comes for them in the sequence they would have died. The thing about this show is no longer the plot, but how those poor motherfuckers die. I especially liked the part where this girl just gets shot in the head multiple times by a nail gun. WICKED! And the part where the 2 girls gets cooked by the suntanning machines simply made me hungry by reminding me of barbecued meat.

Now, I won't say these films were awesome, but I caught the previous parts for both films so I just followed through. You guys can go catch them if you liked the previous parts.

End...

Hanged @ 8:47 PM

Post a Comment

What...?

Took MC today. Flu & sore throat. Went to the polyclinic in the afternoon and spent the evening watching videos. Porn, you say? A few clips, yeah, but I watched a lot of Ali G just now. Let me tell you this, he is the funniest guy on the planet. Damn, you gotta watch his shit to know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I got a few new stuffs again. I got a new bike for $150 and a pair of new glasses (that will arrive on Wednesday) for $230 (WTF? Ain't a bike worth more?). I'll take a few pictures of myself, to satisfy my egoistic and narcissistic self, and post it here when I get my new glasses.

Speaking of pictures, I found out that my new phone has so many different picture effects that it may beat your fucking digital camera hands down. Well, the megapixel department may not be that up to standards, but the variety of pictures you can take is mind-blowing.

End...

Hanged @ 8:39 PM

Post a Comment

Monday, March 06, 2006

About Names...

I've been thinking about the strange names people have nowadays. I mean, isn't it a little strange, that people name their children after the names of cities in the world? Take the infamous Paris Hilton. I never knew people will name their child that. And the (bad) singer Charlotte Church. Do you know that Charlotte is a place in the USA? What about Beckham's kid, Brooklyn? The brat's named after a city in the USA too.

So what's up with the names? Can't they get more normal names like, Rachael, Joey, Chandler or Ross? Why name them after places? Can you imagine your kid's name as Tokyo Tan? Or Philadelphia Chew? Don't they sound strange? I think they'll turn out stupid.

But some people still find it funky. So while you're at it, why not add a little local flavour to it? Name your kid after local street names. Jurong Bin Suffian Hakim? Clementi Chua? Bedok Chen? Since some parents don't mind their child growing up with stupid names that will make them a permanent laughing stock, then they might as well go all the way and give them local names. Go on, scar their childhood, condemn them for life.

Parents can also choose to give even more stupid names like Upper Serangoon Teo, since 'Upper' rhymes with 'Apa' which means 'What' in malay. Your kid's name can then double up as a question. Imagine you tell your friend this, "My kid's name's Upper Delta," and your friend replies, "Upper Delta?" Get it?

End...

Hanged @ 10:31 PM

Anonymous said...: yup! AGREED! jack neo named his son raffles... will he find a 2nd spore? haha...; 9:03 PM
Anonymous said...: Joey, Chandler and Ross were never real names.; 3:10 AM

Post a Comment

New Stuffs...

I realised I haven't blogged in many days. That's mostly due to the fact that I'm tired with all the in-camps I have to handle and I'm too lazy to write anything when I get home.

Anyway, I've got some new stuffs. Firstly, my mum got me a new bed. It's a queen-size bed. It's supposed to be for me, but it's in fact for me and Jen because she knows Jen spends every of her weekends over at my place. Now Jen and I have a proper bed to sleep on. Damn, the bed's good. It has some kinda curse on it. Just lie on it and you'll start losing conscious. Haha.

Second, I got a new phone. Samsung D500C. Cool-looking phone. There are some features that I like and lack some features that I dislike, but overall, it's a nice, slick style phone.

Photo taken with Jen's phone...

Open up, baby...

These are the new stuffs I got. Next week, I will be getting a pair of new glasses and I may get a new bicycle. Looking forward to those...

End...

Hanged @ 10:14 PM

Post a Comment