Stifled...

Monday, June 19, 2006

01/12/03 - 16/06/06

For those who doesn't know it, I broke up with Jen. It was my decision. I ended it on Friday. Did it over the phone, but the conversation lasted for less than 2 minutes, so I didn't have a good chance to explain myself to her. I shall do it here.

Jen, I'm sorry. I made a difficult decision. I don't know if it's more for myself or more for you. I didn't want to waste your time. I cannot give any commitment, at least not yet. I may not be any much younger, but I'm definitely not old enough to give you any promises. I'm sorry I hurt you.

Also, I'm tired of the relationship. It's mostly my fault. My stupid fault for taking you for granted, not treasuring your love. I know you love me, gave me your all. But I just don't know how to react. It's me, just fucked-up me who grew tired of your unconditional love. How can anyone be this stupid, stupid enough to not want love that someone is giving whole-heartedly? I don't know, but I happen to be that fool.

I loved you. In fact, I still do, a little. We had good times, bad times, happy times, sad times. Though we were very comfortable with one another, but it's time we move out of our comfort zone. We'll not grow at all if we didn't. We'll remain like that all the way, without any progress. I'll always remember the times we had together, because afterall, you gave me the longest relationship I ever had. Like I told you, maybe next time we'd end up together again, for good? Nobody knows.

You are the girl I want to end up with, the girl I want to settle down with. But I can't settle down now. I'm too wild at the moment to let myself be tied down. I'm selfish. Forgive me.

Lastly, here's some lyrics from a song by James Blunt. They really express what I want to tell you. Sorry...

Goodbye my lover...
Goodbye my friend...
You have been the one...
You have been the one for me...

End...

Hanged @ 7:38 PM

Anonymous said...: Tried to type in your tagboard but it didn't seem to go through, anyway, just wanna say ren2 is fan4 jian4 one. Too good a life and we'll walk away. Hope you're alright.
-mei-; 10:32 PM