Stifled...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Twisted Tales : Red Riding Hood

Finally! It's back! I hereby bring you another Twisted Tale. For those who forgot, Twisted Tales are fairy tales I re-wrote in a rather crude manner. So here's...

Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time, there's this bugger called Red Riding Hood. As the name suggests, he's a guy who loves red, rides, and is a hood.

Red Riding Hood...

He, for some definitely ridiculous but yet unknown reasons, lives in the forest alone. He has a wooden house and his neighbour's a woodcutter. Every Friday, Red Riding Hood rides to his grandmother's house on his red bike. He takes the same path all the time.

Red Riding Hood's ride...

One Friday, Red Riding Hood's grandmother called and asked him to bring some beer over. How the fuck they find electricity in the woods is another story altogether. (For goodness sake, this is a fairy tale!)

Hanging up, Red Riding Hood packs some beer cans and sets off to his grandmother's house on his red ride. Before he left though, his neighbour, the woodcutter, cautioned him about vixens in the forest. Red Riding Hood, being at the age when he's rebellious, didn't give a shit about him. The woodcutter was worried, so he followed behind Red Riding Hood secretly.

What Red Riding Hood didn't know was that there really were vixens out in the forest waiting to eat anyone alive. The vixens heard Red Riding Hood's ride approaching and decided to set an ambush to catch him.

The vixens...

As Red Riding Hood rode past them, they found him irresistibly handsome. Furthermore, they discovered the woodcutter behind him with a weapon. Not wanting to endanger themselves, they decided to head to Red Riding Hood's grandmother's house and ambush him there.

The vixens took a short cut and ended up outside the grandmother's house. Using their assassin skills, they sneaked and devoured Red Riding Hood's grandmother before she could react.

How the grandmother looked before she died...

Next, one of the vixens hid in the closet while the other put on the dead woman's gown and hid under the blanket.

Red Riding Hood arrived about 15 minutes later and proceeded to talk to his grandmother, but in the process he found things strange. He started asking questions.

"Grandma, why are your eyes bigger?"

"Because I look better this way, my dear."

"Grandma, why are you slimmer?"

"Because I want to fit into that cute little tube top I saw in Gucci the other day, my dear."

"Grandma, why are legs longer?"

"Because I dream to be a model, my dear."

"Grandma, why are your nails longer?"

"Because I just went for a manicure session, my dear."

Rather satisfied with the answers, Red Riding Hood turned around and let his guard down. At this moment, the vixen in the closet jumped out and tried to attack Red Riding Hood. Red Riding Hood let out a loud scream, like the pussy he really is.

The voyeuristic woodcutter, who was outside the house the whole while, heard the scream and barged into the house, trying to stop the attack.

The woodcutter... I did say it's a Friday, didn't I?

The 2 vixens, seeing the woodcutter with a weapon, immediately dropped to their knees and begged for forgiveness. They revealed themselves as two female cannibals disguised as vixens. Both the woodcutter and Red Riding Hood were mesmerised by their charm. The woodcutter decided not to kill them provided the 2 of them promise never to eat humans again. They promised and were spared from death. The 4 of them drank all the beer Red Riding Hood brought as celebration. All of them got drunk and they ended up in an orgy.

Orgy in the grandmother's house...

They felt real great and decided to stay in the grandmother's house for good. There, they lived happily ever after.

End...

Hanged @ 6:03 PM

Anonymous said...: Jason owns!!; 4:28 AM