Stifled...

Friday, July 06, 2007

Internal Struggles...

I fight myself everyday. My lust versus my emotions. My rationale versus my desires. It's getting tiring.

I tell myself I don't want to enter a relationship. I tell everyone that, but deep inside, in a small corner, there's still this desire to care for someone, and to be cared for.

Do I want it? Should I? Will I? Who?

Maybe it's just lust? Physical. Body's telling me something. Mind's telling me another. My rationality says it's not worth it, that it's peer pressure. Conscience is urging me not to hurt anyone. Devil in me screams otherwise.

Self-esteem asks if I can pull it off. It mocks me, telling me no one would want me as a friend, much less a boyfriend. Confidence fills my head with hope.

Am I not developing feelings? Or am I simply denying them?

Must you really be that emotional and rational at the same time, you motherfucker?

It sucks when your mind, body and heart cannot work as one.

End...

Hanged @ 9:37 PM