Reeve Chua Zong Hao
01/01/1986
Male
Singapore
Monday, January 19, 2009
10 Random Ridiculous Things...I want to write something funny and/or sarcastic, like what I used to write, but somehow my creativity and humor just cannot be found. I know it's in me somewhere, just that I can't seem to summon it out. Is it due to the passage of time, the anger in me or me being just lazy? Will it ever be back?
To kickstart myself, I decided to write about 10 random, ridiculous things.
1. Pigeons
Yes, pigeons. I realized that pigeons nowadays are getting more and more bold. Have you tried walking near a flock of them at a HDB void deck? They simply do not budge. Is it me or are they getting too friendly with humans? And the people! Yes, the stupid people that keep on feeding those damn pigeons. Don't they realize that those birds are dirty, irritating, and will fuck you right up just when you are not looking?
2. Kaka
It's been in the news for the past few days? Will Kaka jump onto the Arab bandwagon in Manchester City for a record £100million plus? Seriously, that's a shitload of money. But would Kaka succumb to that? It's not as if Milan is paying him very little. Like one website said, why would he wanna give up trophies to fight relegation just for money? He's too good for that. I have a much better idea. The Arabs can pay me the £100million plus and I can kick balls for them. Any kind.
3. Obama
Yup, he's going to be appointed the President of the United States tomorrow. Or is it today? Fuck, I can never get the time difference right. Anyway, first black president in their history. That's quite a big fuck. Now I heard that there are some batshit-crazy, KKK worshipping white supremists threatening to assasinate him as he gets inaugurated. Now tell me, at which point will the assasination have to occur for the tabloids to read "President assasinated" and not "President-elect assasinated"?
4. National Education
Singapore's government is always emphasizing on how multiracial and multicultural our nation is. Their favourite image to paint? The four main races holding hands living harmoniously.
But if you think carefully, do yo see that scene often? Hell, the only time I see that scene is on weekends, at Singapore Pools.
Yes, the picture they are trying to paint is not really realistic, but well, for the nation's sake, we all accept that it's true. Also, the last time a racial riot occurred is a few decades ago, so I guess we can, to some extent, be proud of the multiracialism we have.
5. Caps
Recently, there's this trend of guys wearing baseball caps ridiculously high above their heads, especially for certain people. Angie and I think that they look stupid. Yes, we all know you guys are air-heads, but there's really no need to explicitly inform the whole world by having a layer of air in between the cap and your head. Seriously, who started this trend and who the hell told the people that started this that they look good at all? Everytime I see someone walking by, wearing his cap that way, Angie and I have the urge to just go up and hit the fucking cap down his head. It's just plain dumb. It's like pulling a pair of underwear up to your knees and walking around, thinking that you have Mega Macs for balls when all you have is a pair of Panadols.
6. Blowjob
Why is it called a blowjob when the action involved is the total opposite of blowing?
7. Stand-up Comedians
I thought of being a stand-up comedian. I like to be witty, I like to talk, and I want people to pay and listen to me talk. I don't mind being entertaining. But I was told that it's hard to be one in Singapore. Funny guys like Russell Peters and Dane Cook touch on topics like race, religion, sex and state, all too sensitive for our climate. The best we got? Kumar, the drag.
8. Women
The picture says enough.
9. Japan's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
You may have seen Japan's Spiderman, but I'm telling you, their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is just as hilarious. It seems that the Japanese can't kick the habit of having huge kick-ass robots in their shows. The Japanese version involves having the turtles turn into robots at will, then combining into a fucking Samurai-Turtle-Zoid kinda thing. I won't be suprised if the Turtles celebrate their victories by gang-bonking the brains out of their version of April O'Neil.
10. Large Hadron Collider
It's large, collides things, looks like a uterus, and may fucking kill us. With that said, I have no idea what it does.
So we have come to the end of the entry. Next time, I'll try making my own motivational posters.
Hanged @ 6:27 PM
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