Stifled...

Mona Lisa Attacked...

2009-08-17T02:22:00.002+08:00

I saw on the news that a lady tried to attacked the famous painting some 2 weeks ago. She failed due the fact that there was a bullet-proof glass shielding the painting. The reason for her attack? She was not granted French nationality.

I must say, that is a really stupid thing to do. Why attack the painting? Mona Lisa is not the one that denied her the nationality. The painting is a masterpiece. Any one that went to the Da Vinci exhibition will know that the painting's historical value is more than some nationality. The woman should have appealed through the right channels. Appealing to Mona Lisa by throwing a mug at her will not make anything better, it will only worsen things.

Seriously, I don't even know if I'm upset or think it's hilarious. Imagine some foreigner getting upset over not gaining a Singaporean PR status and he went to the Merlion and urinated all over it. Does that piss you off or does it make you wanna laugh your head off?

End...

Broke...

2009-07-24T17:25:00.002+08:00

I ended my work in NUS Business School 2 weeks ago and haven't found a job since. It's hard finding a good part time job that's flexible and pays well.

To make things worse, my laptop and mobile phone are damaged. I need to replace them but I'm too damn broke to do so. School's starting soon and I seriously need my laptop to work. The textbooks are gonna cost a bomb too. Damn. I need to figure a way to get the money.

End...

Zero Sugar... Higher Price...

2009-07-24T17:07:00.004+08:00

There are a few things I don't really get in this world, and one thing is the trend of things becoming smaller or lesser while their prices increase.

No, I'm not talking about the Fillet-O-Fish shrinking subtly while the price of it get gets jacked up not-so-subtly. I'm talking about things more ridiculous than that.

I'm talking things like Pepsi Max and Coke Zero. Seriously, they sell more than the original versions, which makes no sense to me. We pay more to get them to NOT add sugar? Why? Without the sugar, the cost would be lower so why are those drinks selling for more? What the fuck's that about? It's like telling consumers that, "Hey, we want people who drink our shit to be healthier and we wanna be socially responsible too, so pay up so that we can make the world a better place!"

Haven't anyone thought that it's strange? People just willingly pay more for the 'healthier' choice. To make matters worse, those shit taste really bad. Why would anyone drink them? Why?

All these complaining is making me thirsty. I'll end here and go have a can of good old normal Coke that tastes better and is cheaper than the shit with no sugar.

End...

His Memorial...

2009-07-08T14:13:00.003+08:00

I stayed up all night to catch Michael Jackson's memorial live. I'm thankful for Channel 5 showing it.

I was never a huge fan of Michael Jackson, but I do listen to his music. My favourite song of his is 'You are not alone'. Recently, I'm addicted to 'Billie Jean'.

I watched a video of him on Youtube recently, and I thought his legs were crazy. His moves were so slick, even 20 years later.

I fondly remember owning a Sega MegaDrive game called Moonwalker. It features Michael Jackson, together with Bubbles, going around and defeating thugs with his dance moves. At that time, I was still a young kid with no idea how huge he was. Sure, I knew who Michael Jackson was, but I seriously had no idea that he was such a superstar, being brought up in a Chinese speaking family. It's a shame, but after so many years, it was until after his death that I realized that the game was re-enacting scenes from the 'Smooth Criminal' music video.

Like I said, I'm no big fan and I'm no journalist, but I will provide my own little tribute here to one of the greatest people who ever lived.

Michael Jackson was a brilliant entertainer. They were not exaggerating when they called him 'The greatest artiste ever'. He changed generations. He started young, thus he touched many lives, young and old. One of the guests said that he raised the bar, and then broke it. I could not agree more.

Even today, perfomers and dancers are greatly influenced by him. His moves have been imitated countless times, and will continue to be imitated. It's just a pity that future generations will never be able to see, with their own eyes, this powerful performer. He was preparing to make a comeback, to show the world his brilliance, but he died trying.

His life was not without controversies, but you just have to look beyond those things to see a person who loved to perform, who loved to give. People continue to bash him, even after his death, but like the congresswoman said, no one is guilty until proven otherwise, and as far as the law was concerned, he's innocent. His private life was scrutinized closely, so much that his brother wished that he would be left alone now that he's gone.

As I sat there watching the memorial, I can't help but wonder, what if those accusations were a move to destroy his illustrious career? What if he really did have a condition that made his skin pale? What if all the accusations were false? Would the world be different today? I believe it would, at the very leasy for him.

Yes, his features changed over the years, but look past the crooked nose and chin dimple, and see the revolution he brought to the world through his performances and his efforts to help the world. Every death should be mourned, but it's extremely pitiful when one who changed the world so much and had the power to continue doing so passed on. Just take a look at the distinguished guests who were there to celebrate his life and salute his death, and listen to their eulogies at the memorial and you would know that he was not a mere man. He was a great son, a great father, a great brother and a great man. He's the greatest artiste who ever lived and a true legend. He is... The King of Pop...

End...

3 Random Thought...

2009-07-06T10:20:00.002+08:00

I have 3 random thoughts right this moment.

Why are music conductors so strange?

Have you noticed that the movement of music conductors are kinda strange? They are either moving their bodies in a rather homosexual way, or in a rigid, break-dancing kinda way. Why?

Why do youngsters feel obliged to share the music they are listening with the whole train?

Youngsters nowadays are mostly blasting the music in their phones loudly on trains. What made them think that other people want to hear their music? Do they not know that it's annoying?

Why do people produce 1-ply toilet paper?

Why the fuck do 1-ply toilet paper exists? Who the fuck produces them? Do they not know that it's the most useless thing in the world? It tears before it comes out of the roll. It's so thin and fragile and you might as well use your hands to wipe your bare ass. And if you want to stack a few peices together to make it thicker, it'll take forever to make a decent piece. It'll only take half the time to stack one up with a 2-ply roll. Serious, the people producing 1-ply paper should be jailed and caned for causing such inconvenience and unleashing such useless shit on people.

End...

Michael Jackson...

2009-07-06T10:15:00.002+08:00

He's been dead for over a week. It's sudden. It's sad. I've never been a huge fan, but I do like his music and performances. His personal life aside, no one can deny that he is an excellent performer, a brilliant artiste and a powerful entertainer.

His songs produced truckloads of classics and changed many generations. His videos and dance moves are still mesmerizing. His monkey, Bubbles, was so cute. His comeback concerts were highly anticipated. Everything happened so suddenly and early.

I can only lament that the future generations will never see the brilliance that is Michael Jackson. Rest in peace, Michael.

End...

Last Semester...

2009-07-06T10:14:00.001+08:00

My last semester was not a good one. My results sucked due to problems in my life. I got a C for almost everything, pulling my CAP down by a hell lot. Damn. I only have 2 semesters to change things. Can I do that?

End...

Regret...

2009-07-06T10:12:00.002+08:00

I hate regrets. When you have regrets, it usually means that you did something wrong, or failed to do something you should have done. That's why I think about my actions carefully and after the action is taken, I stick by my decision to take it, because I don't wanna regret.

End...

Too Damn Long...

2009-07-06T10:07:00.002+08:00

It's been too damn long since I last wrote anything. A lot has happened these days. As most of you know, there was some seriously fucked-up shit between me and Angela. For those who know, good for you. For those who don't, you either are not paying attention or are not priviledged enough to know.

Anyway, our wedding has been postponed, our flat is arriving, I'm working right this moment, and we adopted a rabbit.

Her name's Nana and she's a Netherlands Dwarf. She's the cutest thing ever! I don't mean she's the cutest rabbit, I mean she's the cutest THING! THE CUTEST THING! EVER!

End...

Alone In The Office...

2009-01-28T13:55:00.003+08:00

I'm blogging from the office now. I'm alone in here because my colleagues are all on leave. I opened the office door and sat in here since morning. I have quite a few tasks to complete. Taking a break now.

Feeling kinda tired as I got home kinda late last night. Angie and I spent the afternoon and evening at her cousin's place. I played mahjong and won a little.

I may be tired but I won't be going home soon. I was supposed to have a lecture yesterday, but because it was a public holiday yesterday, the lecture has been moved to today, from 6pm to 9pm. So I'll knock off at 6pm and go for the lecture immediately. Sigh...

To make things worse, I have quite a few assignments to do by Friday.

Starting to be overwhelmed by this semester.

End...

Please Do Not Board When Doors Are Closing...

2009-01-20T19:01:00.003+08:00

As most Singaporeans know, SMRT stations will constantly play this voice recording that asks people not to attempt to board the train when the doors are closing. They have flashing lights and loud beeping to tell people the doors are closing and not run into the train like some clown on the Chingay Parade scene.

Anyway, I saw someone running onto the train when the lights and sounds are going off. It's kinda normal to see some idiotic deviants doing that, but the person I saw was an SMRT staff. He got on safe, no disruptions or delays, but, oh, the irony...

End...

10 Random Ridiculous Things...

2009-01-19T18:27:00.018+08:00

I want to write something funny and/or sarcastic, like what I used to write, but somehow my creativity and humor just cannot be found. I know it's in me somewhere, just that I can't seem to summon it out. Is it due to the passage of time, the anger in me or me being just lazy? Will it ever be back?

To kickstart myself, I decided to write about 10 random, ridiculous things.

1. Pigeons
Yes, pigeons. I realized that pigeons nowadays are getting more and more bold. Have you tried walking near a flock of them at a HDB void deck? They simply do not budge. Is it me or are they getting too friendly with humans? And the people! Yes, the stupid people that keep on feeding those damn pigeons. Don't they realize that those birds are dirty, irritating, and will fuck you right up just when you are not looking?

2. Kaka

It's been in the news for the past few days? Will Kaka jump onto the Arab bandwagon in Manchester City for a record £100million plus? Seriously, that's a shitload of money. But would Kaka succumb to that? It's not as if Milan is paying him very little. Like one website said, why would he wanna give up trophies to fight relegation just for money? He's too good for that. I have a much better idea. The Arabs can pay me the £100million plus and I can kick balls for them. Any kind.

3. Obama

Yup, he's going to be appointed the President of the United States tomorrow. Or is it today? Fuck, I can never get the time difference right. Anyway, first black president in their history. That's quite a big fuck. Now I heard that there are some batshit-crazy, KKK worshipping white supremists threatening to assasinate him as he gets inaugurated. Now tell me, at which point will the assasination have to occur for the tabloids to read "President assasinated" and not "President-elect assasinated"?

4. National Education
Singapore's government is always emphasizing on how multiracial and multicultural our nation is. Their favourite image to paint? The four main races holding hands living harmoniously.
But if you think carefully, do yo see that scene often? Hell, the only time I see that scene is on weekends, at Singapore Pools.

Yes, the picture they are trying to paint is not really realistic, but well, for the nation's sake, we all accept that it's true. Also, the last time a racial riot occurred is a few decades ago, so I guess we can, to some extent, be proud of the multiracialism we have.

5. Caps
Recently, there's this trend of guys wearing baseball caps ridiculously high above their heads, especially for certain people. Angie and I think that they look stupid. Yes, we all know you guys are air-heads, but there's really no need to explicitly inform the whole world by having a layer of air in between the cap and your head. Seriously, who started this trend and who the hell told the people that started this that they look good at all? Everytime I see someone walking by, wearing his cap that way, Angie and I have the urge to just go up and hit the fucking cap down his head. It's just plain dumb. It's like pulling a pair of underwear up to your knees and walking around, thinking that you have Mega Macs for balls when all you have is a pair of Panadols.

6. Blowjob
Why is it called a blowjob when the action involved is the total opposite of blowing?

7. Stand-up Comedians
I thought of being a stand-up comedian. I like to be witty, I like to talk, and I want people to pay and listen to me talk. I don't mind being entertaining. But I was told that it's hard to be one in Singapore. Funny guys like Russell Peters and Dane Cook touch on topics like race, religion, sex and state, all too sensitive for our climate. The best we got? Kumar, the drag.

8. Women
The picture says enough.

9. Japan's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
You may have seen Japan's Spiderman, but I'm telling you, their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is just as hilarious. It seems that the Japanese can't kick the habit of having huge kick-ass robots in their shows. The Japanese version involves having the turtles turn into robots at will, then combining into a fucking Samurai-Turtle-Zoid kinda thing. I won't be suprised if the Turtles celebrate their victories by gang-bonking the brains out of their version of April O'Neil.

10. Large Hadron Collider

It's large, collides things, looks like a uterus, and may fucking kill us. With that said, I have no idea what it does.

So we have come to the end of the entry. Next time, I'll try making my own motivational posters.

Update...

2009-01-19T18:18:00.002+08:00

Just attended Angie's company's D&D 2 days ago. The theme was oriental. She dressed up in quite a sexy kimono while I rented a Kurosaki Ichigo costume. Well, I was reluctant to cut my hair short and dye it orange, so I was Kurosaki Ichigo, minus the hair and the sword. It was quite fun.

Anyway, I found a part-time job through a friend 2 weeks ago. It's in my school and the hours are very flexible, although the pay, at $6/hour, is rather little. My colleagues are nice and friendly and the work is very simple. To top it off, I'm trying to have a 3-day study week, so I can work quite a number of hours a week.

Speaking of the schedule, this is going to be the best semester I've had until now. I'm taking 5 modules, but only 3 of them have tutorials. Also, I only have 3 examinations from the 5 modules. To make things even better, one of the examination is an open-book one while the other 2 are MCQ examinations.

Almost all 5 of the modules are fun and interesting, with many people I know taking the same modules. Life's gonna be great this semester.

End...

Results...

2008-12-23T18:08:00.003+08:00

I got my results back today. My average result's a B. I got 3 B- and 3 B+. Not very good, but better than what I expected. I was expecting a C somewhere.

I got B- for the modules I was rather confident in, and did better for the modules I thought were done badly. Like I said, the results are not good, and I do blame myself for not studying and overloading myself with 6 modules, but I am more inclined to blame my family.

Yes, I do blame my family. I blame the bastard who claims to be my father, for creating scenes after scenes during my examination period. I blame my mother who doesn't care much for me, for siding with the bastard when he tried to kill me, for blaming Angie for all the problems. I blame my aunt who spares no thought for my family and comes over to my place to play mahjong every weekend, for being unreasonably mean to Angie. I blame them.

I'm taking 5 modules next semester, and I'm not staying at the damn house with those people anymore, so I have to do better.

End...

I Want To Play Basketball...

2008-12-19T15:50:00.001+08:00

From where I'm living, I can see a basketball court downstairs. I feel like playing, but I have no ball. There are kids playing down there, but I think it'll be kinda strange if I go down and start playing basketball with the kids. Haven't played at all the whole semester. I want to play...

End...

Jobs...?

2008-12-19T15:46:00.002+08:00

I have been looking for a part-time job recently. How else am I going to support myself now that I am living on my own? But part-time job these days usually involve sales and MLM, which I am not keen on. And I'm not patient enough to teach tuition.

Anyone has recommendations?

End...

3 Months...

2008-12-19T15:34:00.002+08:00

It's been almost 3 months since I last wrote something. Interesting 3 months, I must say.

I didn't have time to write anything because of my schoolwork. I was overloading myself with 6 modules instead of the usual 5 because I was aiming to have 2 minors. In the end, I didn't have time to study. My results will be out next Tuesday, and I doubt I'll do well. Anyway, I decided to drop one of my minors, so everything will return to normal next semester.

For those who don't know yet, I left home. Yes, I am no longer living with my family. Why? Long story short, my father threatened to assault me with a knife over some monetary issue and I gave him a good beating before calling the cops to arrest him. My mother turned around and blame Angie for the problems and wanted to chase her outta the house. I do not want to live with those idiots anymore, so together with Angie, I moved out. Angie's family rented her room out, so Angie and I are currently renting a room somewhere. This place is far from my school, but at least I won't get stabbed in my sleep.

Honestly speaking, I'm fucking angry with my family, except for my brother. By chasing Angie out, they are excluding themselves from our future. Angie and I are going to get married soon. We even applied for a flat already.

You wanna know who I blame for the problems? It's my good-for-nothing father, my mother and my aunt, who does nothing but stir up trouble. So what if she has some fucking money?

Maybe I don't show it, but there is anger in my heart every moment.

Enough of that shit. School's starting soon. I was planning my timetable the other day. Not an easy task when you have so many different friends asking you to take the same modules as them. A lot of lectures clash with one another in terms of timing. Furthermore, I'm now living quite far from the school so I'm not able to get modules that start in the morning. Bidding starts on 30th. I'll wait and see.

End...

Facebook...

2008-12-19T15:32:00.001+08:00

Hell, Facebook is so damn fun. Like I said before, it's not the 'add as many friends as you can' part that's fun, it's the freaking applications. I can spend hours just playing word games.

End...

Tainted Milk...

2008-09-24T14:55:00.003+08:00

For the past few days, there have been quite a ruckus regarding the tainted milk from China. Thousands of children in China have been affected and it is causing a global scare. Being the largest and most populous nation, they churn out too much cheap site that everyone else is buying, that's why there's a global scare.

The tainted products include milk, candies, ice-creams, cakes, and all dairy products. Suddenly, everything is so unsafe. My parents made me throw away a tub of ice-cream Angela bought the other day because there have been reports that Hong Kong was affected by that brand of dairy products.

All this panic just because of some nincompoops in China. It was no accident. Those culprits knew about the melamine in the products. Just for a little money, they did something this irrational. I cannot think of any good reasons why melamine was added.

What they did was really uncalled for. The worst part is, the consumers of their products are young infants and children. That's so inhumane. The innocent children's young bodies are too weak to take in crap like that. Their immune systems just ain't strong enough.

Why would they wanna do such a thing? To cut cost? They don't lack labour due to their population and their production costs are already so low. Even though other countries are importing their products at very low prices, with such low production costs, they should be already earning quite a substantial amount of profit. So why turn to such petty tricks to cut corners?

With their population and resources, people are saying they can become a global superpower in a few years, and they should, but with cases like this holding them back, it's a tough road up. Consumer confidence will require quite some time to be rebuilt.

End...

Facebook...

2008-09-24T14:51:00.003+08:00

Set up a Facebook account recently and found it to be really fun. I managed to find many long lost friends. It's not the fun part I was talking about. All you do is just add them into your list and you don't do anything anymore. That's no fun.

The fun thing I'm talking about is the applications they have. They have many fun games to play with friends. Another fun thing is the tagging of photos. You'll find photos that you have long forgotten you have taken.

It's fun now, but I wonder how long the novelty will last.

End...

It's Been A Month...

2008-09-24T14:38:00.002+08:00

It's been a month since I last wrote anything. I go into such lapses often due to laziness and fatigue.

The past few weeks have been really busy with projects, presentations, examinations and stuff like that. Being the dick I am, I took 6 modules, including a language module. That's why I'm so damn busy.

1 of my examination result's out. I got 45 out of (technically) 50. I'm quite happy, but because it's quite an easy paper, so I don't think I rank high up the bell curve.

I have so many things to do, so many things to read. It's really tiring, but somehow I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying that I'm actually studying. It's been so many years since I last put in so much effort to study. It feels good.

Shall not write too much as I have to get back to my study. There's a mid-term examination next Friday.

End...

Japanese Shows...

2008-09-24T13:43:00.000+08:00

I took 2 Japanese Studies modules this semester. 1 is on Japanese films and animes, the other on Japanese mass media. These modules are kinda fun. The former requires me to watch Japanese movies or animes every week and analyse it. Some of the movies are old, some boring, but it's fun overall.

The project we are doing for the Japanese mass media module is on Japanese dramas and how the portray different locations in Japan differently. So these 2 modules require me to watch quite a lot of stuff. Unfortunately, being a KimuTaku (Kimura Takuya) fanboy, I only have mostly his dramas and they are not really applicable to the theme of our project, so I have to watch other dramas that are related. 1 of my group members is a J-drama junkie. He knows so many dramas. He practically came up with the whole list of dramas to watch for the project. Need to get some from him and watch.

Just got back from a project group meeting, feeling kinda tired. Gonna rest.

End...

Night Class...?

2008-08-22T14:07:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging now again. If you observe the trend, I'm doing it on Friday afternoon again. Why? Because I'm having NM2101 now and my brain is melting from the boredom.

Anyway, my schedule is more or less finalised, aand I must say, it is quite FUCKED-UP. Previously, I planned to have my Tuesdays free. However, due to the fact that I am not able to get the tutorial slot I want, I have to go to school for a 1-hour lecture on Tuesdays. You think that's not bad? Wait till you hear this. That particular tutorial is from 7pm to 8pm. Yes, at night. I have to go to school for 1 tutorial, at night.

To make things worse, I have an 8am lecture on Wednesdays. How screwed-up is this? I tried to get a swap, but nobody seems to want my tutorial slot (I can guess why).

Damn. Fuming but have to live with it.

End...

NM2101...

2008-08-15T14:54:00.002+08:00

I'm in a lecture now. The module is NM2101 and this is one of the most boring lectures I've ever been. I don't understand what the fuck the lecturer's talking about despite preparing before the lecture. And to make it worse, the lecturer's English is not really clear.

Saw a few familiar faces here. Some of them I really don't wanna see.

End...

School Has Started...

2008-08-14T17:27:00.002+08:00

School started for me yesterday. I'm taking 6 modules this semester. Kinda busy. I managed to squeeze 6 modules, which means 6 2-hour lectures and 8 tutorials, into 4 days. My Tuesdays are free.

Angela and I have been back together for some time now. Yes, we are. For those who know about the break-up and make up, good for you. For those who doesn't, you don't have to know.

Angela and I bought 2 hermit crabs as pets. Yes, hermit crabs. They are small and they each carry a shell on their backs, using them as homes. The shells are painted and we bought many extra shells of different designs for them to live in. Due to the fact that they are small, nocturnal, and spend most of their time in their shells, I can't get a clear picture of them and post it here. Will try to get a picture as soon as I can so that you guys can take a look.

End...

What Do You Do...?

2008-07-28T23:17:00.001+08:00

What do you do when you hate and love the very same person?

End...

我不想忘记你...

2008-07-28T18:55:00.003+08:00

压抑了一天一夜的泪水终于在郭静的“我不想忘记你”中决堤了。

郭静 - 我不想忘记你

我在向前走
却像在退后
我在用想念
狂欢寂寞
越快乐就越失落
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里
空气很稀薄

我努力想起
你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你
再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你
苦也没关系
用祝福和感激
勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起

一个人不懂
什么是拥有
两个人不懂
怎么把握
越在乎就越脆弱
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里
空气很稀薄

我努力想起你
笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你
再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起

没想到我第一次用中文写部落格竟然是在这么悲伤的情况下。流着泪的我无法再隐藏我的感情。我还爱你。模糊着眼的我像失去盔甲的战士，感到非常懦弱。以为已冰冷的心流出了温热的眼泪。

就像歌里唱的，爱你这个决定，虽然艰辛，我不说对不起。可是我放不过我自己。我无法想象我爱的人企图摧毁我的人生。我无法原谅你，更无法原谅自己不原谅你。我不知道原谅你的话，我要怎么面对周遭的人事物。

就用这一首歌的时间，这几分钟的软弱，来告诉你，我还爱你，可是我不能也不会再和你在一起。让我用萧敬腾的歌来表达我的感情吧。

萧敬腾 - 原谅我

请不要分了以後　
还记得亲吻过的承诺
你的永久　
已不属於我
默默低头　
那时我很多　
话哽在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐　
或许我爱太多想太多
我能感受　
他比我适合
爱放了手　
我伪装冷漠　
比你先说分手

请原谅我　
原谅我不成熟
不爱你是借口　
好让你离开我
请原谅我　
好想自私将你占有
你的寂寞就给我承受
换你过更好的生活

请不要分了以後　
还记得亲吻过的承诺
你的永久　
已不属於我
默默低头　
那时我很多　
话哽在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐　
或许我爱太多想太多
我能感受　
他比我适合
爱放了手　
我伪装冷漠　
比你先说分手

请原谅我　
原谅我不成熟
不爱你是借口　
好让你离开我
请原谅我　
好想自私将你占有
你的寂寞就给我承受
换你过更好的生活

爱过恨过哭过也笑过
亲吻过你的脆弱
其实我比谁都要懦弱

原谅我　
必须假装爱错
别让时间逗留　
我怕说不出口
原谅我　
没有解释太多　
心痛
别无所求　
彻底忘了我
爱原来要舍得
我難過　
我才懂

请原谅我。要说的都在歌词里。不要再惩罚自己了。找个好男人嫁了，好好过生活。我祝福你。答应我，一定要快乐，好吗？

End...

Darkness...

2008-07-28T01:22:00.002+08:00

I love the night. I love the darkness. I've spent countless nights alone in my room, gaming under the cloak of darkness.

But just now, for just a little while, I felt a tiny jolt of fear. Fear of the darkness that is engulfing me now. That has not happened before. I guess I'm still adapting.

End...

It's Over...

2008-07-27T20:04:00.003+08:00

It's over. It was ugly. It involved shouting, my friends, kicking down a door. It involved police coming to my house, my month's earnings (which is all I have) going down the drain, and sadness.

I'm free now. Lonely, but free. Freedom and privacy come at a price.

I'm not used being alone in the room. Feels strangely eerie, quiet, solitary. It'll take some time to get used to. I'll be fine.

End...

Worried...

2008-07-04T19:01:00.003+08:00

I was packing stuff in the company this morning when something dawned on me.

The economy is bad. What if I can't find a good job that allows me to support my family. I'm studying something media related, and the only media in Singapore is Mediacorp. If I don't end up there, I don't end up anywhere. What if I end up being a storeman all my life? I cannot allow that.

I called a few people today to tell them about how I feel. I feel a great urge to do something. Start something. I'm not all talk. I'm really thinking. I'm earning peanuts now as a storeman. Why would an undergraduate work as a storeman? As least I'm earning something, unlike some of the people around me. And working something as fucked-up as this made me realise that I cannot stay like that. It made me realise that I have to do something. I have the potential to do something.

I have so many ideas and so many things I want to do. And, no, I'm not going to take a step at a time and do things slowly. I wanna venture into different things and keep myself busy, to feel alive.

It's like Leong said, I need to learn the know-hows when I still can and I need to hang around like-minded people. I'm not going to live my life like a dream anymore. Be it starting a business or becoming a DJ, I need to put my foot down and really do something now.

End...

Get Lost...

2008-06-30T15:16:00.002+08:00

I'm sure everyone has heard about the TV series Lost, right? For those who have not watched it, I say go get your hands on it now. It's one of the most awesome TV series ever. It's engaging, interesting, touching, surreal. It has tons of mysteries, the characters' stories are well-developed, the plot well-written and the method of conveying the story is so damn good.

I've just started on Season 3 and I can't wait to finish it. The series currently ends at Season 4 and the producers are ending the whole show in 6 seasons. Season 5 will air in the States January next year. I just can't wait.

Seriously, TV is filled with crap these days and only a few things are worth watching. If you have not caught Lost (and Friends), you haven't watched TV. You don't know what you are missing.

End...

Privacy Is A Luxury...

2008-06-30T14:57:00.003+08:00

A few weeks ago, I got a call from a Malay lady. She, a stranger, asked if I was interested in some spa offer. I was working when I answered the phone. I declined politely, saying that I was not interested and the lady slammed the phone on me.

What irritated me was not her rude slamming of the phone, but the fact that she called me. I was irritated, not puzzled, because I know how she got my number. You know all those online forms and lucky draw coupons you fill up with your personal information? Websites and shops keep those information and sell it to companies that do telemarketing or online marketing. How do I know? Because my modules taught me so. So the next time you fill something up some form, just know that it will haunt you will SMS advertisements, spam and anonymous calls.

Privacy, something we value so damn much these days, is slowly disappearing. You can use secure passwords, lock your credit card in a safe, leave your identification card at home, but those cannot change the fact that hundreds of people out there already knows your name, your identification number, your D.O.B., and your credit card number. Do you, for a moment, think that your cellphone company doesn't have your information?

With globalization, privacy has become a commodity of the large firms. With this commodification, privacy, to everyone else, has become a luxury and not a right anymore.

End...

About Suicide...

2008-06-20T18:45:00.003+08:00

No, I'm no considering it. It's just that a thought just struck me.

Many people are trying to kill themselves. Why? Almost all the time, it's to escape some problems in life. However, I deem these people cowards.

It takes a moment to courage to kill youself, but it takes much more to live on and deal with the problem.

That's why I think people who try to take the easy way out are cowards, losers.

End...

Radio DJ...

2008-06-10T16:58:00.002+08:00

I emailed 93.3FM yesterday to see how I can land a part-time job there and they replied today. They need my resume and a recording of me either singing or reading the news. I'll need to find a good piece of news to read.

End...

Untitled...

2008-06-10T16:48:00.003+08:00

I'm at home now. Have been the whole day. Didn't go to work today because of some boils growing at the sole of my left foot. Hurts so much that I can't put on any footwear. Went to see the doctor just now. $76 for a few medication. The boils better go away or I'll flip.

Anyway, it's been about a week since I started working. The colleagues there are fine, but my job scope sucks. It's not anywhere near what I thought it would be. I'm no admin assistant. I'm doing shit in a warehouse. I'm in charge of packing small machine spare parts into little plastic bags and sealing them up. There's no air-con and it gets hot as hell in the afternoon. I have 3 fans blowing at me but that is still nowhere near cool.

It is immensely boring packing those shit. I'm supposed to pack them into packets of 10. It's brainless, really. I can pactically do mathematical sums in my head while packing them. There's a radio blasting in the warehouse, the only thing that is preserving my sanity.

Working there is a waste of my talents, whatever my talents are. But $1300 for a stress-free job is not a bad deal.

My mum just told me that her company is hiring admin assistant for 2 months. She needs help with auditing the company accounts. $1100 a month. I'm seriously considering it. Should I take it?

End...

Error...?

2008-06-09T18:51:00.002+08:00

I noticed that my blog's hit counter doubled after I changed to the new layout. Is it an error with the counter? Or is it an error with the webpage? Maybe it's my calculation error? Or maybe, just maybe, it's the error of people out there who are interested to read shit about my mundane life.

End...

Starting Work...

2008-06-01T23:25:00.002+08:00

I'm starting work tomorrow morning. The company I'll be working for is a new company, with a boss in his 30s. I heard he's a good businessman and has made quite a profit over a few months. Maybe I can learn a thing or two from him.

Sleeping soon. Don't wanna be late in the first day of work.

End...

Hunger...

2008-06-01T23:07:00.002+08:00

I feel lost. There's a hunger in me I need to appease. It's not physical. I wanna do something. Something big. Something that can make me money, make me rich. Something that can give me satisfaction. I wanna start the cafe thing with Angie now, but I can't, due to lack of funds. My soul aches to do something. It's devouring me.

When I look at myself, I feel like shit. I need to get rich, need to do something. I have dreams to fulfill, money to be made, skies to explore. I see lost souls around me, living a dream, chasing meaningless things, meaningless pleasures. I feel for them. A part of me wanna be like them. In fact, I'm like them to a certain extent. That is what people define as youth.

But a part of me wants to do more than that. I'm not a teenager anymore, not a schoolboy anymore. I want to be successful. Some people my age are making big bucks. I wanna be like them, and to put it crudely, the more lost souls there are around me, the more advantage I have to become successful.

I wanna take risks, wanna try things. I'm glad I have lazy, conservative friends because they are who I'll get money from. They will be my customers, the consumers. They'll never get out of their hopeless state, never get successful and compete with me for money. They still believe in studying hard and working for others to get rich. The world needs people like that.

I'm glad I have friends who spend more time chasing pleasures and girls than money. They'll always spend more than they get.

But even with so many lost souls, I'm still not successful, still not making it big. I'm hungry for that. I have to be more hungry. I have to do more. I'll prepare a proposal by the end of the term break and present to the entrepreneur centre of my school to secure funds for the cafe. I'll do it over and over until I get it. It's now or never.

I don't wanna tear myself apart.

End...

Results...

2008-05-31T23:03:00.001+08:00

My results were out on Friday. I got 2 'B's, 2 'B-'s and an 'A-'. That's my first 'A' in college, even though it's an 'A-'. Considering the fact that I studied only one or two days before each paper, those are good results in my opinion. My CAP is pulled up too. I'll do better next semester. I'll pull my CAP more the next time.

End...

New Tagboard...

2008-05-30T13:57:00.001+08:00

Someone mentioned that the tagboard's down so I got a new one. Leave messages, yeah?

End...

Found A Job...

2008-05-30T11:47:00.002+08:00

At long last, I found a temp job. No, it's not through job agents. I sought the help of about 4 job agents and till this day I still got nothing from them. I'm losing faith and them. In fact, I think they are a bunch of useless money-suckers.

I got the job through connections. The boss is my mum's friend. It's a welding company and I have free transport to work. I'll be an admin assistant. Pay's not bad. I'll be drawing a monthly pay but I've calculated the hourly pay. It's about $8 per hour.

I'm starting work on Monday. Finally, a job.

Ok, I'm going to go brush my teeth and wash up. We all know brushing is important, don't we?

Brushing is important...

End...

Hole In My Wallet...

2008-05-29T16:26:00.001+08:00

There's a hole in my wallet. No, I don't mean I spent a lot of money on something. I'm as broke as can be. I mean there's a hole in my wallet, literally. The compartment where I store my coins broke due to me putting too many coins in. Time to get a new wallet.

End...

Mahjong...

2008-05-29T10:33:00.002+08:00

Played mahjong with a few friends yesterday. Played with Ying Kit and Derrick again, but because Seng Hwa was not free, I got Alex to play with us instead. It was fun, but Derrick was still very, very slow and very much clueless about where to get the tiles and stuff. Coupled with the fact that I did not sleep at all the previous day, I got a little agitated during the later part of the session.

Anyway, I started with a $5 deficit as I owed Ying Kit $5 and gave that amount to him in the form of my chips. In the end I had a $0.10 profit, which effectively means I won $5.10. Well, at least I cleared my debt.

End...

Relationships...

2008-05-27T13:10:00.003+08:00

Everyone has their own definition of things abstract. Honor, value, love, hate, existence, justice. I, for one, hear many whimsical definition of these from a particular someone. Her definition of love, of how a man should or should not treat a woman, of how a female should squeeze toothpaste out (from the middle?!?!) flood my everyday life. The validity, however, she never questions.

So here's my own take on what a relationship is. Call me gay if you want, I just want to make things clear.

A romantic relationship involves love at the beginning. Love is not an object you give to someone. It's a feeling you feel for someone. In fact, it's many feelings you feel for someone. By someone, I do mean one person only.

Love involves trust. Trusting a person, trusting what he/she says. If you love a person, you have to trust that person. Can we all agree that if there's no trust, there's no love? How can you love someone you don't trust? Life isn't a 007 movie.

Let's not go into the definition of love. So, a relationship involves love, but the raging feeling of wanting to be intimate with someone doesn't last forever. It lasts longer for certain individuals, shorter for others. When the feeling fades, does the relationship end? Maybe, that's why divorce rates are so high these days. But when divorce is not considered, what holds two people together?

I believe two things hold people together after explosive feeling of love fizzles. One is compatibility, the other is tolerance. What are they?

Compatibility is how close two people's interests and takes on life are. For example, the man likes to watch news on TV. So does the woman. In this aspect, they are compatible. Conflicts are reduced in this aspect of life. But if the man likes cats and the woman likes dogs, then they are not compatible in this aspect. It's even worse if the man likes cats and the woman hates them.

The more compatible two people are, the more their interests complement one another, the longer they stick together. Some people call a compatible other a soulmate.

What is tolerance then? Tolerance comes into play when incompatibility is taken a step further. Let's use the example above. The man likes cats but the woman hates them. The man, however, still got a cat into the house. The woman, at first, will tolerate the presence of the cat. That is the tolerance I'm talking about. Tolerance, however, wears thin with time. How long they can bear to be together depends on the woman's tolerance towards the cat and the man's tolerance towards the woman's hatred for the cat. Some can stand it longer, even for life, some cannot stand it for a week.

In general, man, being more agressive, tend to have lower tolerance.

When tolerance reaches the end of the road, sacrifices have to be made. In the case above, either the cat goes or the woman goes. This may sound like a trivial example, but if you take the same scenario and put it in other aspects of life, the impact is magnified. When the choice is between your lifestyle and your other half, or your career and your other half, or your freedom and your other half, this will not seem like a laughing matter anymore.

So this is my definition of a relationship. You may not agree, but I'm holding on to this and anyone close to me will have to follow this definition, just like how I follow another person's whimsical, self-centred definitions everyday.

End...

You Are Fucked-Up...

2008-05-26T22:23:00.002+08:00

This is immensely frustrating. How can someone who used to make out with another guy behind her boyfriend's back, who still calls the guy years after to talk about 'old times', have the fucking cheek to point her finger at me and malign me of infidelity?

End...

Today...

2008-05-26T08:39:00.003+08:00

It's early in the morning and it's pouring outside. I guess it'll be damn humid later in the afternoon.

I'll get the papers after the rain stop to look for jobs. Still jobless and damn broke now. After that I'll do some workout, either at the gym or with the free weights I have at home. Time to get back in shape.

I will read a book on starting up a business later. It will help with the cafe Angie and I had in mind. Will need to seek funds from my school's entrepreneurship groups to go about with it.

I'll start a Facebook account sometime this week. That will facilitate the uploading of photos and, of course, the stupid videos of Jin Han taken so many donkey years ago.

Now, for the rain to stop...

End...

Lazy No More...

2008-05-25T21:29:00.004+08:00

Finally, my blog has been revamped and online. I haven't wrote a thing for 2 whole months. That's the longest I've gone without writing.

Life's generally good these days. Finished my exams and I'm currently waiting for my results. Don't think I'll do well but I just hope I don't do too badly.

I'm currently looking for a holiday job but I haven't been able to find anything. I have been trying. I have got 4 job agents looking for jobs for me and I'm still jobless. Damn, they sure are good-for-nothings.

Went out with Leong recently and I discovered that Leong and Joyce have the same couple rings as Angie and I. What a freaking coincidence. Leong and I look like homosexual men when we wear the rings together. Hell...

I've been discussing with Angie about opening a cafe just now. Getting really psyched up about it. I think it will work and I may go ahead with it. My business 'partner' may have walked out on me the last time, but this time it's Angie and I know she'll support me all the way, so I determined on this cafe thing.

I'm gonna go take a shower now. Till next time.

End...

Not Dead...

2008-03-25T18:23:00.002+08:00

I'm not dead, so isn't this blog. I know it's been over 2 months since I last wrote any shit. That's just how busy I am. And also how lazy I am.

I'll be back with more posts, pictures and shit after my exams. I'll revamp the whole layout too. Just hang in there.

End...

Upbeat...

2008-01-15T14:15:00.000+08:00

I am strangely upbeat to be back in school. I'm actually happy to be in a lecture despite not really listening to it, or despite it being terribly boring. I guess I'm really sick of the inactivity at home over the past few weeks.

End...

Modules...

2008-01-15T13:31:00.000+08:00

I said last week that I'm trying to clear my breadth modules by taking those not from my faculty. Well, that all went down the drain as I did not get a single breadth module. In the end, all the 5 modules I got are from my faculty.

That's not really a bad thing as I now have no need to travel around the campus, at least for this semester. And I'm clearing my exposure modules this semester so I can concentrate on my major, minor and my breadth modules next semester.

Speaking of exposure modules, I just finished my Sociology lecture. It was kinda boring at first, but then the lecturer started talking about suicides. That was interesting. Next, he talked about Singapore and even cracked a few political jokes. However, I do see a lot of reading coming for that module as there are quite a lot of theories and concepts to study.

I just realised that the Japanese Language module I am taking has 3 tutorials a week! That's 2 hours of lecture and 5 hours of tutorials a week! It's a lot, but I have an interest and I want to improve my Japanese so I'll pull through.

The cost of the textbooks for the Japanese Language module is fucking expensive though. Everything adds up to over $100 just for that module alone.

I still managed to squeeze all my lectures and tutorials into 4 days. I'll be home studying every Friday.

I see the incoherence in this entry. That's because I'm kinda tired. Woke up kinda early today as my first lecture's at 10AM. Will be leaving for my next lecture in a while.

End...

2 Things I Don't Get...

2008-01-14T14:19:00.000+08:00

There are things in life that we don't get. Here are 2 of the things off the top of my head.

Talkingcock.com

How do they get away with criticizing the government the way they do? How? HOW?

Women and shoes

How many shoes do you need? You only have 2 feet, what good would 400 pairs of shoes do?

End...

Thread Lightly...

2008-01-10T13:49:00.000+08:00

Here's a touchy topic that I've kept in myself for a long time.

Have you notice that Singapore is starting to be filled with more and more foreigners. Seriously, I don't remember so many foreigners walking around a few years back. Now, they are everywhere, and I don't really like that, not a bit.

Angie says I'm racist. Maybe I am, but I would prefer to say I'm nationalistic. I have slightly more problems with foreigners than with Singaporeans of other races.

I heard that the invasion of the foreigners is a whole plan by the government to bring in foreign talents and shit like that. But from what I can see, we are bringing in way too many of them.

I saw an article in the news that Singapore's population will be up to 6 million in a few years' time. 6 freaking million and we are still bringing in people? What are we, sardines? Queues will be longer, public toilet will be dirtier, and don't get me started on public transports. Have you been surrounded, on a train, by a bunch of Mainland Chinese talking very loudly in their high-pitched, irritating accent? You'll feel like you've entered some twilight shit zone.

Carrying on with the politically sensitive theme, I'd like to talk about ERP. Fuck, the price of ERP went up again. Passing by a fucking gantry may incur you a $4 or $5 charge. It was first implemented to reduce traffic, but the number of cars on the roads are not reduced. The amount of money in our pockets is.

On top of that, the price of cab fares are raised. What used to be a $14 ride now costs $23 with the peak hour charge, ERP charge and the 35% charge all rolled in one. People used to talk a cab when they are in a rush. Now, it seems more worthwhile to be late.

With all that going on, the price of public transport, namely bus fares and MRT fares are also raised. The fares are raised but neither the frequency nor the quality is improved. Sure, there are a few newer buses going around, but go to any bus interchange and you'll still see some broken down double-deckers with no air-con. You'll still see single deck feeder buses that that forever to move outta the interchange. There's no justification to raise the price of public transport.

Couple all these with the foreigners coming in and you'll get a nation of sad, sad sardines. It's no wonder people get irritated. And they still have the cheek to say we are not gracious. Faced with such frustration, who can remain gracious for long?

Think this is bad? Wait till the 2 IRs open.

Sometimes, I feel that all these are just part of a giant conspiracy by the government to milk everyone high and dry. It's just my opinion, but maybe, just maybe, it's true...

End...

Blog...

2008-01-10T13:47:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking of changing the design of my blog but I'm kinda lazy. So many designs to choose from and so much time is needed.

Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe the day after.

Maybe never...

End...

Next Semester...

2008-01-10T13:39:00.000+08:00

I got most of the modules I wanted for my next semester. I'm trying to clear my breadth modules and Singapore Studies module this semester but I was outbid for my Singapore Studies module. The minimum bid was 300+ points. What the fuck?

I'm trying to get Computing, Financial Accounting and Management and Organisation. I don't feel like an Arts student taking these modules, but I'm not a totally 'Arts' person anyway.

Also, I managed to squeeze all my lessons into 4 days. I only have to attend a lecture in the morning on Thursdays and I get to sleep at home on Fridays.

I do hope I get the modules I bade for because I already have my semester planned out.

End...

My Results...

2008-01-03T14:07:00.000+08:00

My results are out already. It's not good, but I can't complain. I only studied one or two days before each paper so I'm just grateful I didn't fail anything. I've got to buck up for my next semester.

End...

Birthday...

2008-01-03T13:18:00.000+08:00

It's the time of the year again. My birthday. Well, it's two days ago but it's still kinda in the air.

I had some guys over for food on 30th. Benedict, Alex, Jin Han and Ching Hang came. My mum whipped up a lot of food for them. They bought me a shirt and a cake. We played mahjong throughout the night and played cards on the morning of 31st. We had some fun, I guess, and I won some money.

Went to Angie's place on 31st. Her relative had a BBQ so we went for it. We then went for a swim with her sister and her sister's boyfriend. Went back to her place and watched some lame countdown on TV.

We spent the whole 1st sitting around at her place. I told her not to tell her family that it's my birthday but she did anyway. Her mum bought a lot of KFC chicken and a cake for me.

Well, my birthday's over so I need to settle down and prepare for school that's starting on 14th.

End...

Travelling...

2007-12-29T13:08:00.000+08:00

Angela has sort of moved in with me but we travel to her place almost every weekend because my mother's always playing mahjong on weekends and Angie cannot stand the sound of the tiles crashing into one another.

It's a chore to pack and travel but I've gotta take care of her, right? And her place is quite peaceful too.

Anyway, this December is all about eating. I don't celebrate Christmas but Angie's family does, so I spent Christmas at her place. However, the eating started way before Christmas. On the 1st, one of her relatives held a Christmas party and we went to eat. 8th was her company's D&D, and contrary to what a friend of hers think, there was nothing wrong with us being there.

One of her colleagues held a crab feast and we went too. Hell, there were really many crabs. Then, her aunt had a party too. Ate again. Lastly, we had a Christmas dinner with her family on Christmas Eve. As expected, I'm outta shape. Time to shed the pounds.

End...

Exams...

2007-11-23T10:27:00.000+08:00

My exams are coming. WTF? The guys in NTU are finishing their exams and my first paper is even later than their last paper. Damn.

I'm so busy mugging these days. Didn't study at all throughout the term so I'm doing all I can to get everything into my thick skull. I haven't slept in the past 24 hours but I'm fine. I'm going to continue studying after this short break. I had some Red Bull. That shit works wonders for me.

Anyway, I just heard that this year's top PSLE score is 294. Sweet mother of fuck! 294! 6 points from the maximum score! Are the papers getting easier or are the kids nowadays getting too smart? Jeez.

End...

Charity Shows...

2007-10-30T18:57:00.000+08:00

I remember writing an entry about those charity shows on TV a few years back, but I simply have to write something about it again.

I was at Angela's place watching some charity program with her mother and sister the other day when I see this old Malaysian man using his body to drag some van. The man's in his 70s (I think) but still managed to drag the van 4 metres. That is rather impressive on it's own, but I find it stupid to use such an act to get people to donate money. Anyway, that is not the main thing I wanna talk about.

I want to talk about the money that people donate. I remember a time when calling a certain hotline will have me donate $2 to a certain organisation. I bet some of you remember that don't you? Then, a few years down the road, a single call donates $5. That's the minimum and we don't have any choices to donate anything less. The program I saw the other day has a hotline for a $6 donation. $6 is the lowest denomination. Can anyone explain to me why the minimum amount is going higher and higher as the year goes by?

This trend deters people from donating money. For most people, it's easier to part with $2 than with $6. That is why the total amount of money received by the organisations for each show is getting smaller. Wanting to get more donations, the organisations push the minimum donation amount up and produce more atrocious and stupid acts. It's a vicious cycle. Something has to be done if the needy are to be helped. Enough said.

End...

I Don't Recognise My Country Anymore...

2007-10-30T18:46:00.001+08:00

I have been out with Angela a few times the past week and we noticed many, I mean MANY, foreigners. Is it me or is there more and more foreigners in my country? There are hundreds of Chinese (from China) in my school, thousands of Bangladeshi on the trains on Sundays and so many Filipinos all over town.

There are really many foreigners in Singapore. There didn't seem to be so many of them a few years back. Now, they are all over. I hear all kinds of different accents everywhere, see all kinds of colors everywhere. I hate their accents. I can't take it. When I board a school shuttle, all I hear is the accent of Mainland Chinese speaking Mandarin, or worse, speaking English. The accent of Indians and Blangadeshi speaking English also gets on my nerves.

I don't recognise my country anymore. What is going on?

I have my own theories of why there's this sudden surge, but let's not get into it. I don't wanna crack some racist jokes and get charged by the government. Haha.

End...

Busy & Lazy...

2007-10-30T18:40:00.000+08:00

I haven't written anything in over a month. I have been busy and lazy. So many projects and work to do.

Actually, I'm in a lecture now. Yes, I'm not listening. Well, most of the people here aren't anyway. What's the point of coming? I have no idea.

This lecturer is so boring. He's always telling life stories and the stuff he teaches are just read directly off the powerpoint slides that I already have. And this lecture is 3 hours long. Whoever came up with this schedule is not thinking straight. We all know that concentration wanes after a while so a 3-hour lecture is not logical. I find it a waste of time, but oh well, it's my obligation as an undergraduate here.

Well, well, back to the lecture. Or maybe not.

End...

Recent Entertainment...

2007-09-17T16:38:00.000+08:00

I bought a new PSP recently. Lost mine almost a year back and bought a new one about a month ago. It's fun, but I really don't have much time for it. I used to play my PSP and find time to do the serious stuff. Now I have so much work to do, I can only find time to play it, like on the bus or train.

I also bought a laptop. It's handy when it comes to schoolwork. I can check schedules, copy lecture notes with it and download schoolwork. In fact, I'm blogging using my laptop now. There's one thing though. The battery dies fast. I'm thinking of buying an 8-cell battery but it isn't cheap.

Some time back I got myself the whole 10 seasons of Friends. I've been wanting to catch it ever since I caught Joey and now I have all 10 seasons. It's awesome. I watch it all the time when I have the time. I watch it at home, I watch it on my laptop, I even watch it on my PSP. I'm now on the 3rd season already. It's so damn funny. I can't believe I've been missing out on this for the past 10 years.

Alright, I have to prepare to go to my next lecture.

End...

Busy...

2007-09-17T16:24:00.000+08:00

It's been quite some time since I last written anything here. Over a month actually. School has started and studying and working at the same time is hard. It's not impossible though. I just need to organise my time better to cope with things.

I can just quit my job as my contract ends tomorrow but I need the money. I don't feel comfortable asking money from my parents. My girlfriend's working at the same place as I do so I get to see her less if i quit. I'm also saving for an overseas trip with her.

By the way, since everyone knows about both of us then there's nothing to hide anymore. Her name's Angela and these are our pictures.

This one's taken in JB.

Some tests and tons of project coming up. Damn busy. Going to do my stuff.

End...

A New Beginning...

2007-08-13T22:27:00.000+08:00

It's been some time since I last updated. I have been busy and lazy for the past few weeks.

I'm back working part-time as school has started. It started this morning. I went for a few lectures today and I found some of them really boring. Hope this situation improves.

My faculty is ridiculously filled with girls. The girl to guy ratio is probably 4:1 or something. There were really too many girls. I would be really happy if I was there a month ago but now it makes no difference because I'm attached since about 2 weeks ago. The girls are not as pretty as my girlfriend anyway.

She's my colleague. She's 25. She's beautiful. She did some modelling some time back. She's sweet, caring and she's really nice to my parents. My mum seems to like her. And she loves me a lot too.

There was a time when I thought I was devoid of feelings, when I thought I could no longer love and can no longer be loved, but you proved me wrong. Thank you. I love you.

End...

Books...

2007-07-21T22:14:00.000+08:00

Due to unforseen circumstances, I forgot to submit my timesheet on Monday. If I submitted, then I would have gotten my pay today, but shit happens, so I'm kinda low on cash. Thank goodness I saved a bit and there's this GST offset thing the government gave out, so I still have enough to last me till my next pay day.

Anyway, I went to Borders to buy some books the other day. Was thinking of going to Kinokuniya, which I'd prefer, but Kinokuniya closes so much earlier than Borders.

Someone has really gotta keep me outta those giant bookstores. I spent $100 on 5 books there. I've finished 1 of them and it was quite a helpful, motivational book. I'm currently on a book that I've wanted to buy so quite some time. It's quite interesting.

Haven't been reading for a long time. It feels good to start reading again. Just don't try to get me to read Harry Potter.

End...

Bed...

2007-07-21T22:11:00.001+08:00

It's both a good thing and a bad thing to have a large bed.

You get to toss and turn all you like when you sleep, but the bed feels kinda empty when you sleep alone. It makes one feel lonely.

Kinda miss having someone sleep by my side. Or maybe, just maybe, I kinda miss having a particular someone sleep by my side.

End...

No One's Anyone's Type...

2007-07-17T00:44:00.000+08:00

"He's not my type."

"I don't think you are her type."

"I like her type."

We hear shit like that all the time, but I don't believe in 'type'. How many times have we heard a person telling everyone what her/his type is, only to end up happy with a person different from the shit he/she said?

I think this 'type' thing is just an excuse to fall for the wrong person, or reject a potentially right one, because 'type' is something superficial. Just because he/she is your 'type' doesn't mean he/she will treat you well, does it?

I don't believe in 'type'. Do you?

End...

What The Fuck...?

2007-07-17T00:36:00.000+08:00

Reeve, what the fuck were you thinking? Do you have any fucking idea of what you did? Have you thought about what you said?

You are creating nothing but trouble for yourself and the people around you. You'll bring hurt and pain to everyone, including yourself.

You'll end up with nothing, just like what your friend told you.

End...

Shit Happened...

2007-07-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

Something happened on Friday night. Something rather bad. Something I shouldn't do but still did.

Guilty. Bothered. Down. Had to drink on Saturday night to wash the guilt away.

Could I stop myself? I don't know. Did I stop myself? I don't know.

Was it my fault? Yes. Was it all my fault? I don't know.

Something bad turned good. Something good turned bad.

Sorry.

End...

Relationships...

2007-07-08T22:19:00.000+08:00

I keep telling myself and the people around me that I don't want a relationship. I've got a feeling that I will reject any that comes my way, and reject the whole idea of starting one even if I become fond of someone.

It's like intentionally locking yourself in a room while wanting to get out. I may look back my life when I'm 40 to realise I've been single since I was 21. This thought freaks me out.

But it really can't be helped, can it? I enjoy flirting, dating and sex, but is not ready for a committed, exclusive relationship. Singapore gals are conservative, and the so called 'open-minded' ones are mostly posers that act westernised but still conservative inside.

Doesn't anyone watch Friends or Joey? Isn't the kind of relationship shown in the show cool? Friends can start dating each other, sleep with each other and if things don't work out then they still remain as friends.

Those are ultimately TV shows, right? The world's just not made the way everyone likes it to be.

End...

I Played Basketball...

2007-07-08T22:14:00.000+08:00

I played basketball today. It's been almost half a year since I last played. Got me really excited and elated. Played with Alex, Benedict and Jin Han. It's been a little too long, I got tired after a while and my calves felt like they were going to suffer from cramps, but it was good.

They came over to play mahjong after that. I won a bit.

Feeling rather tired after playing. Will be working OT tomorrow, so I'll sleep early today.

End...

KL...

2007-07-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

I went to KL last Sunday and came back on Tuesday. The trip was okay. I won't say it's a great trip, but it wasn't that bad either.

I played overnight mahjong on Saturday night and didn't sleep a wink. Met up with the guys on Sunday morning for breakfast before taking a coach to KL. The trip was rather long, but I'm not one to sleep on a vehicle. I only managed to doze off for about an hour on the coach.

We got to the hotel in the afternoon. We unloaded our bags and headed to KLCC to do some shopping. KLCC is damn huge. It's probably bigger then VivoCity and it's situated below the Petronas Twin Towers. We shopped until it was dark. I almost died due to lack of sleep. Had to drink cola to keep myself awake. We wanted to head up the towers, but it was closed by the time we finished shopping. Some of us had intentions to head to KL Zouk, but, embarrassingly, we could not find it.

The Towers at night...

We headed to the Chinatown of KL and walked around a bit. There are a lot of counterfeit goods there. We ended the night in the hotel room, drinking beer, eating junk, watching TV and playing cards.

The next day, we went shopping again. Don't ask me where we went because I really don't know the locations. I just followed and bought things that caught my eyes.

We went to Planet Hollywood to have dinner. The place was quite nice. The food's good and the chicken chop's serving is quite large. I've always liked to eat large pieces of meat and the chicken chop did not disappoint me.

Great friends, but why does Yew Wei look pissed...?

We drank a bit and listened to the 'live' band perform. Not too good, not too bad.

That's Weijie insisting he's not drunk...

We went back to the hotel after dinner and messed around a bit before dropping dead on the beds.

HQ and Weijie 'wrestling' on the bed...

HQ defeated with an injured thumb and Weijie with his victory post...

I was forced to help finish the leftover beer the next morning. Who the hell drinks beer in the fucking morning? Anyway, we checked out of the hotel in the afternoon and went to do MORE shopping, this time with our luggage. Yew Wei, Weijie and I wore the shirts we bought the day before. They are of the same design, with pictures of strange looking bears in the front, just different colors. We looked quite stupid walking around the shopping malls in them. Again, I have no idea where were the places we went.

We called ourselves 'The Bear Brothers'...

We took the coach at around 6.30PM and alighted before midnight. Was fucking late by the time I got back.

Did a check at home. I bought 1 black pair of boxers, 2 black shirts, 2 black T-shirts (one is technically grey, but the label states 'black'), 1 black blazer, 1 black pair of Levi's jeans and 1 black belt. Is it me or did I buy too much black stuffs?

End...

Internal Struggles...

2007-07-06T21:37:00.000+08:00

I fight myself everyday. My lust versus my emotions. My rationale versus my desires. It's getting tiring.

I tell myself I don't want to enter a relationship. I tell everyone that, but deep inside, in a small corner, there's still this desire to care for someone, and to be cared for.

Do I want it? Should I? Will I? Who?

Maybe it's just lust? Physical. Body's telling me something. Mind's telling me another. My rationality says it's not worth it, that it's peer pressure. Conscience is urging me not to hurt anyone. Devil in me screams otherwise.

Self-esteem asks if I can pull it off. It mocks me, telling me no one would want me as a friend, much less a boyfriend. Confidence fills my head with hope.

Am I not developing feelings? Or am I simply denying them?

Must you really be that emotional and rational at the same time, you motherfucker?

It sucks when your mind, body and heart cannot work as one.

End...

Catching Movies Alone...

2007-06-16T18:58:00.000+08:00

I caught 2 movies alone just now. I went for Ocean's 13 first. Why did I catch it alone? Because apparently the whole world has not caught Ocean's 11 or Ocean's 12 and no one's interested in watching Ocean's 13.

I'd say Ocean's 13 was good. Ocean's 11 was brilliant while Ocean's 12 was quite a flop. I was hoping that Ocean's 13 would save the series (in my point of view) and it did. The whole plot was interesting, with rather comical moments. There were a few recurring characters, including Terry Benedict and The Night Fox, but I suppose people new to the series would not be very lost if they caught only Ocean's 13.

Unlike Ocean's 11, which had Julia Roberts as the female lead, and Ocean's 12, which had both Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ocean's 13 does not have a significant female lead. There was this female secretary but I'd say her role was rather insignificant until near the end.

Overall, I enjoyed this film a lot, although, except for the 3 main male leads, I still don't quite know who's who in the 11.

I caught Shrek 3 after. Not so good, not so bad. There were funny moments, but it's getting kinda boring watching the green ogre fooling around. I didn't know Artie was voiced by Justin Timberlake until after the credits rolled.

I'd say this is an average film, not really worth the $9.50 I spent on it. I heard there are plans for 3 more Shrek related films. WTF?

I caught both movies alone, and coincidentally, for both times, I sat beside people who were catching the films alone. The first time I saw the guy sitting beside me catching the movie alone, I thought he's one strange piece of shit. But, who am I to criticise him? Well, at least I didn't buy a large popcorn and a large drink as though I'm not alone. A lady sat beside me when I was catching my second film. She, too, was alone with a large popcorn and a large drink. WTF?

The weather's been gloomy the whole day. Excellent weather to sleep. I'm tired after catching 2 movies. I want to catch Spider Lilies and I have a strong feeling that I will have to catch it alone.

End...

Nonchalance...

2007-06-16T13:11:00.000+08:00

I'm living a life of nonchalance and loving it.

End...

Suddenly...

2007-06-10T23:39:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, I yearn for a girlfriend. I'm sure this feeling will fade and my rationality will return, but this sure is strange.

End...

Strangled And Choked In My Sleep...

2007-06-08T21:44:00.001+08:00

The other night, I was really strangled and choked, in my sleep that is. I was sleeping when I felt someone tugging my left shoulder, trying to get me to turn to my right. I resisted at first but gave in after a while. I turned to my right and immediately felt something like a hand holding onto my neck, strangling me. I was pushed back to lie on my back. It felt like having one hand holding my left shoulder down and another choking me. To make things worse, I felt a weight on my left chest, something like a head.

I opened my eyes to catch a glimpse of the culprit and saw nothing in the darkness. I tried to say something to attract the attention of the person sleeping beside me, but all that came outta my throat was strange noises. The noise did wake her up though, and she managed to shake me outta it.

I don't wanna comment on whether it's my mind playing tricks on me or it's something supernatural, but I was indeed strangled and choked, in my sleep.

End...

He Doubts...

2007-06-08T21:36:00.000+08:00

He is currently not interested in a committed relationship. He looks forward to one, but doubts his ability to commit. He doesn't want to break anyone's heart, thus he chose to stay outta relationships for the time being.

He enjoys female companionship. He enjoys hanging out with them. He lusts for them. His actions may mislead some of them. Prick...

End...

Good Luck...

2007-05-31T20:02:00.000+08:00

I finished watching Good Luck yesterday. It's a good show. The plot's good, although I felt that it's a little short. Takuya Kimura was charming as usual, and Kou Shibasaki was beautiful. She did her 'ice queen' act at the start of the drama, just like her character in A Million Stars Falling From The Sky, but started to be more outgoing towards the end.

I liked the second last episode the best because it's so close to me. Takuya's character broke his leg and was told he cannot be a pilot no more. He never gave up on his dream, and his promise to fly Kou Shibasaki to Honolulu. He worked hard and went back to being a pilot. That episode got me rather emotional. I was told that I can't play basketball anymore, but I'm not giving up. I'll come back one day.

End...

Last Night...

2007-05-31T19:55:00.001+08:00

He was lying on bed last night when an unknown loneliness overwhelmed him. All of a sudden, he felt so lonely alone on the queen-size bed. He wished there was someone accompanying him, someone by his side. Lust? Loneliness? Boredom?

Fortunately, he was tired enough to fall asleep fast, sparing himself from the agonizing loneliness and thoughts.

End...

I Amuse Myself...

2007-05-29T15:51:00.001+08:00

Once again, I amuse myself. I'm kinda confused by the situation I got myself in. I'm wondering how I ended up in this situation, multi-tasking and handling things. I'm probably thinking too much, looking too much into things.

I don't like lying, and I don't usually lie. I merely hide truths. I tell people truths, but not all of them. I give partial truths. Ignorance and hiding things are not as bad as lying, right?

End...

Miss Universe 2007

2007-05-29T15:48:00.001+08:00

I just saw on the web that the winner of Miss Universe 2007 is Miss Japan. I don't follow the pageant, but man, she sure deserves the crown. She's stunningly beautiful and hot.

End...

Dragged Myself...

2007-05-28T23:37:00.000+08:00

I finally took my new shoes and dragged myself out of the house to jog. It's been a long time. Now I'm physically exhausted but mentally refreshed. I'll go back to watching Good Luck.

End...

Useful Article...

2007-05-27T14:13:00.001+08:00

This article is really useful. Makes me understand myself better and definite will help girls understand guys better...

End...

Bloody Thought...

2007-05-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

I was quite rudely awakened by a Team Leader just now at around 12PM. Asked me if I wanted to do OT, which I promptly rejected due to lack of sleep and lack of time to prepare myself for work. I slept at around 8AM so I've only slept 4 hours, but I'm the kind of person who can't really get back to sleep once I'm awakened. Feeling kinda tired now.

My mum went to see a doctor but she arranged for a mahjong session that will start in around 10 minutes. Guess who's playing in her place?

Had a thought yesterday when my nose was bleeding and I told a few of my colleagues. I thought the next time my nose bleeds, I'll take a white shirt and sneeze on it, like some grafiti. A colleague commented that it sounded like an episode of CSI. I have no idea because I don't watch CSI. I know it's kinda morbid, but it's quite interesting, isn't it?

End...

Bloody Work...

2007-05-27T07:15:00.000+08:00

I was working yesterday when my nose started bleeding. I was on the line with a customer when it happened. I was trying hard to plug the blood but the customer just kept on ranting. He even made me run over to the other department to clarify something with someone. Quite a few people was shocked by the blood stains on my hands as I ran around the call centre.

The bloody customer made me hold on the line while he did something registering online. Fucking hell. By the time he hung up, my jeans, hands and table were stained with blood. Had quite a headache after that due to the lack of blood in my bloody brain.

This nose-bleeding issue is starting to cause me problems.

End...

Mahjong...

2007-05-27T07:11:00.000+08:00

It's freaking 7AM in the morning and I've just finished playing mahjong for my mother. She wanted to sleep so I took over her place. She (We) lost a total of $200 in the end. Can't blame me though, the damage was over $150 by the time she passed me the baton. What did she expect me to do? Perform some miracles in 1 round? Those wily old foxes are too good for an amateur like me, but it's good 'training' because my friends are not my match anymore.

End...

I Used To...

2007-05-27T07:04:00.000+08:00

I was watching the TV on the bus the other day when I saw this fresh milk advertisment involving a lady in a red jumpsuit jumping around buildings, performing a very lame imitation of parkour. I used to think that with my athletism, I can perform the moves she did anytime, and with proper training, I could do parkour.

Used to. Yes, I used to think that way. We all know what happened next.

I used to be a martial artist, holding a black belt. Now I can't even throw a proper punch with my master hand. Yes, I can still do daily chores like write, type, wank, carry stuffs, wave and shit like that, but things are not the same anymore. I feel like a handicapped, a disabled. I know I shouldn't feel this way and I know I'm stronger than that, but it's an undeniable fact that I'm not the Reeve I used to be.

Not the same Reeve I used to be...

End...

Fucking Great Singapore Sale...

2007-05-25T22:40:00.000+08:00

I'm rather unhappy now, with the feeling that I'm being cheated. Why? Because the Great Singapore Sale starts tomorrow, and apparently I'm the only idiot who doesn't know it. No one told me about it! And hell, I even bought a new pair of shoes yesterday. WTF...

End...

Love Generation...

2007-05-25T00:13:00.000+08:00

I've just finished the entire series of Love Generation. Yes, it's an old series, but it's a classic. The soundtrack's brilliant, and the acting's good too. There's my idol, Takuya Kimura and the beautiful Takako Matsu. She has a really beautiful smile and large, round eyes. She was so cute then. Now she exudes more of a mature elegance.

Anyway, the drama's rather touching. It revolves around a simple theme, but has the characters in quite a messy situation, thus making the theme really complicated.

The crystal apple that appears throughout the series...

I really enjoyed the last episode. A large part of the last episode was shot in snowy Nagano. Makes me feel like travelling, and I'm a person who hates travelling. Takuya Kimura was very charismatic, and the romantic things he said to Takako Matsu was really heart-warming.

The philosophy of Takuya Kimura in the drama actually brings out the untold guilt in me. Makes me think about the decision I made. But it's all fiction, isn't it? Reality is a sad contrast to everything good in dramas. Not everyone or everything has a happy ending.

This poster appeared throughout the series too...

Anyway, this is really a good show I'd recommend to everyone. I'll start on Good Luck next.

End...

Devoid Of Feelings...

2007-05-25T00:09:00.001+08:00

Is he really devoid of feelings? Or is he simply refusing to feel? Is it too early to say now? Or is it already too late?

End...

Random...

2007-05-24T23:40:00.000+08:00

I went to NUS today to repeat my urine test. Yes, a repeat urine test. It's part of a pre-admission body check-up. I failed my previous urine test because this idiot here drank a whole bottle of honey before going for the test. The glucose level in my urine turned out too high for that day and I was made to repeat it another time.

Went all the way to NUS, urinated into a cup and left, all in 5 minutes. A total waste of my time, but at least I know I'm not fucking diabetic. I'll commit hara-kiri if I'm really diabetic.

Went to NUH after that to get an X-Ray of my arm done. My medical appointment has been changed to next month, so I left the hospital early and went shopping for a pair of sneakers. Walked around JP, visited Ching Hang at his workplace, then bought a pair of Nike running shoes. The damage was $80, but I guessed it's considered quite a bargain considering it's a Nike. Color? Black, of course. When's the last time you saw me wearing a pair of shoes that's not black in color?

Now I kinda know why gals like to shop. It kinda relaxes a person, but the pain sets in after you realise you've just burnt a hole in your pocket. Well, at least I didn't buy something I don't need.
I realised that without seeing the doctor in the hospital, I don't have an MC to cover my absence from work. I went to the clinic and made up something about sore throat and stomach upset. It's amazing how the doctor can find illnesses on me when I was just making shit up. Maybe it's a 2-way thing. I'm there to 'cheat' the MC and she's there to milk me of my money. Anyway, got an MC for today.

Wanted to take my new sneakers out for a run, but the motherfucking hot weather is putting me off. The air-con's been on for days.

I've got a huge pimple on my nose. It's damn irritating. I burst it and it's bleeding now. Fuck.

Didn't win in Toto today. Sigh...

End...

Thank You My Friend...

2007-05-24T13:23:00.000+08:00

I called Jean last night and chatted with her over the phone for about 2 hours. I don't know why, but everytime I feel like talking to somebody she's the only one I can think of. She's a great friend.

We chatted about work, studies, my love and sex lives (or the lack of them). Got some weight off my shoulders and lightened the guilt I felt. I always thought it's better to talk to gals than guys. Girls are more sensitive and it's easier to confide in them. Most guys I know just talk rot, that's why I can't even be bothered to talk to them when I have problems.

Anyway, thanks a lot Jean.

End...

My Age...

2007-05-24T00:53:00.000+08:00

I'm almost halfway into my 21st year of existence in this world. I know I'm not old, but I'm feeling really, really old.

Maybe it's because of the crap I lived through when I was a kid. Not many people can go through that. Not many did. Experiences like that matures a person's mind fucking fast. Makes one think that he has seen a large bulk of life. Makes one think that there's really not much in life to learn and look forward to.

Then again, there's so much more to strive for. It's this irony that makes me feel so damn old. It gives me a sense of urgency, telling me that I have to do things. I've lived through shit and I'm not letting myself or my children go through that.

Did my experiences contradict the realities of life? Or did they complement it by making me work harder?

End...

My Job...

2007-05-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

My job, in reality, sucks. I have to put up with people's shit and still talk to them respectfully. Yes, it will make me a better person, and I will be able to appreciate other people's help, but sometimes things can drive me mad.

I told my colleagues that I realised Singaporeans are mostly idiots. Yes, unreasonable idiots. Just listen to the things they do and say and you'll know why. Also, this job will not make you racist, at least not for my case. Why? Because I've come to hate all races, anyone that yells at me despite me talking to them patiently and politely. Stay on this job long enough and I'll start hating every Singaporean.

I'm rather wary when I'm on the streets, because anyone around me could be someone that called in and talked to me before. Anyone could be that bastard that cursed my parents over the phone. Then on the other hand, anyone could be the person who was very grateful that I helped him or her with her phone issues.

To conclude, I think my job pays rather well, but I'm just not suited for this job, not for long.

End...

A Morbid Interest In Blood...

2007-05-21T03:37:00.000+08:00

My nose has been bleeding everyday for the past week. It gets me high, but the lack of blood in my head is causing me headaches and fatigue.

I had the rather bad case of nose bleeding on Friday night. It started in my room and I made a dash to the bathroom, leaving a trail of blood behind me. I let out a maniacal laugh when I saw my bloody face in the mirror. I let my nose bleed into the sink, washed it and let the blood flowed again.

I managed to stop the bleeding after some time. I looked around the bathroom after it stopped and saw patches of red here and there. It's not as glorious as when I first entered the bathroom, but it was still quite interesting. I walked out of the bathroom, took my phone and started snapping away.

This is only a fraction of all the blood...

Blood left after several clean-ups...

I almost got blood on my new phone. Almost. I know I have a morbid interest in blood but what can I do? What can YOU do?

End...

Female...

2007-05-21T03:29:00.000+08:00

He desires for female company. He's not sure if it's the body or the presence he desires, but he just desires the company. Maybe it's both that he's desiring. Maybe he's lonely. Maybe he's not that strong after all.

He knows he's not very normal, to desire care, concern, sex and not love from a female. He also knows gals that think the way he does are a rarity. He dares not wish for love, but wonders if he can ever find happiness for that aspect of his life.

It's getting a little sick for him. Maybe he should just kill himself and let the others take over.

End...

Growing Old...

2007-05-21T03:24:00.000+08:00

I'm growing old by the day and I'm fearing it. I really hate it. I don't hate the responsibilities of an adult. In fact, I enjoy it, but there are so many other things to consider, so many things to fear.

I fear that I may not be able to earn my first million in ten years. I fear that I may not be able to retire by 45. I fear that I might start balding. I fear for my health, especially with my nose bleeding all the time. I fear that I may be frail and diseased by the time I'm 50. Then I'll probably kill myself and save myself from the misery, and save my family from the burden.

There are so many complications involved when you grow old. Don't you guys feel anything?

End...

Rant For The Weekend...

2007-05-21T03:08:00.001+08:00

I just got home some time ago, after catching a movie with a few of my colleagues. Caught Blade of Glory. It's a rather funny film, has its lame moments, and it has a ridiculously lame ending. It's worth a watch, but definitely not worth $9.

Anyway, I played mahjong with Alex and company on Saturday. Went to Benedict's place to play. I emerged as the sole winner, so if you are reading this, Jin Han, suck on it! So much for your 'ultimate pair'. Haha.

Had breakfast with them on Sunday morning and came back home. Wanted to sleep but ended up finishing the whole Season 2 of Joey. Slept for a few hours before going to buy Toto. It's a fucking $2.8m for the first prize. Nothing wrong with buying some hope, right?

Wanted to take a train to Dhoby Gaut to catch the movie, but I just got my hands on the Japanese drama Long Vacation. That's one of my favourite dramas. It's been over 10 years but the plot and soundtracks are still stuck deep in my head. It's interesting how something so old can still touch my heart (if it's still there, that is). I ended up leaving the house late, so I took a cab down to my workplace to meet them.

Went to Cathay to catch the movie. Didn't talk much to them. I just don't mix in large groups well. They all have common things to talk about, things that I don't know and/or don't care. They took a picture. I hid at the back. I never liked taking photos.

It's hard trying to blend into their group I guess. After all, I'm the guy who absurdly and stupidly broke his arm and took a 2-month hiatus off work, during which they probably forged close bonds between them. I guess colleagues are all we'll be.

I think I'll miss the next movie session, if there's one. I'll spare them from the presence of a the anonymous loner.

End...

How Would You Like To Die...?

2007-05-17T00:15:00.000+08:00

After watching the fearless Spartans in 300, it kinda made me think about dying. No, not thinking about it like suicide, just thinking about the idea of dying. They died a glorious death in their eyes. How would I like to die?

It's hard to really come up with an idea of how to die because not only do I not have experience, I doubt anyone around me had that experience before. I know I won't wanna die a slow death. I don't mind painful as long as it doesn't drag too long. Something like gunshot to the brain, stabbing of the heart or falling from some really high place. Something swift. And something that will definitely kill me. On the fucking spot. Don't wanna struggle all the way to the hospital, waste the surgeons' time and still end up dead.

Either I die like I mentioned above, or I die with adrenaline pumping to all parts in me. That will make me die feeling high and painless. Something like how the Spartans died.

I say again, I'm not suicidal. I have a lot more things to live for. I'm just thinking about the best way I'd like to take my leave.

End...